When SNL was getting its start, the cast was billed as the “not ready for prime time players.” The irony is that the cast is arguably the most talented and most successful cast in the history of the show. The 1970s version featured comedy heavyweights such as Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, and John Belushi.
In a similar way, all of the president’s men and women could be categorized the same way. From a serious, hard hitting point of view the group resembles Mario Mendoza or Rafael Landestoy more than anything approaching something accomplished. From a comedy perspective, the group just might be the greatest geniuses ever assembled.
Yesterday, sometime either before or after Rudy Giuliani let one rip in the courtroom, he brought his “star” witness to the stand. I’m not saying she was drunk, but when you Google “drunk witness” she is the first thing that pops up. I’ll let you decide for yourself.
She signed something that says she will go to prison if she’s lying. She’s seen stuff. Case closed folks. We can go ahead and cancel that inauguration for Joe Biden. This woman is on the case. She’s signed that form (I think they call it an affidavit). You didn’t.
Not to be outdone, Trump surrogates Sidney Powell and Lin Wood told Georgia voters not to vote for the GOP candidates until they demand changes in the process. Oh shoot, I’ll just let Fox News take over here for me because the logic is just too dizzying for me to figure out.
My parents once told me they thought that I should have become a lawyer. It’s not that teaching is a bad profession necessarily, but they thought it would match my skill set. Law school seemed too difficult at the time. Maybe I was wrong. When watching Powell, Giuliani, and his other attorneys I’m going to have to say I swung and missed on that one.
One thing that I can say I’ve noticed about the women in Trump’s orbit is that they all seem to be the same person. They are almost all exclusively blonde, they seem to be somewhat accomplished at first glance, but they are collectively setting feminism back about 50 years. The Stepford wives seem to have more going on than these women.
Add this to Kayleigh McEnany and the woman that saw vans being unloaded during her 24 hour shift and you get the idea. It would be unfair to call them all stupid. The woman testifying in Michigan just might have a drinking problem. I don’t know how smart any of us would sound after downing a fifth of Jack Daniels.
I’m also fairly certain McEnany isn’t really dumb. She just does a good job of playing it on the TV. Heck, even Rudy used to be a federal prosecutor. Powell and Wood used to be respected attorneys before they started singing about dead dictators and telling people not to vote for the GOP candidates. That will sure show them.
I know this all seems crazy. They say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was in convincing the world he didn’t exist. This might be the next best thing. He can’t convince us he doesn’t exist, but maybe he can convince us that he is nothing to worry about because he’s surrounded by a bunch of idiots. It’s enough to amuse us to death.
Author’s Update: As it turns out, Melissa Cardone (the star witness) and the ditzy 24 hour poll worker on Lou Dobbs program a few weeks ago are the same person. I just naturally assumed that they were two women that looked and sounded alike. Part of that is on me for not doing the legwork. Yes, you can accuse me of discrimination. I just assumed all Trump women looked and sounded alike.
However, a part of this has to be on them. The nation made fun of this woman three weeks ago. How in the hell did she become credible? You know you exist in a bubble when you can’t watch that clip and realize you are dealing with someone a few sandwiches shy of a full picnic. So, either she was drunk twice purely coincidentally when she was making public appearances, has a serious drinking problem, or has the unfortunate trait of appearing impaired when she is stone cold sober. In either case, a large part of me feels awful about poking fun at her. Either she has a significant problem or she isn’t bright enough to defend herself. Shame on Rudy and company for dragging her into this.