Drama at the Courthouse

“Doctor doctor give me the news, I gotta bad case of loving you. No pill is going to cure my ill. I gotta bad case of loving you.” — Robert Palmer

Okay, I stumbled on this one on the news today. For those that don’t want to go beyond the paywall can see the same story here and in other locations I’m sure. It was featured on the news here locally and thankfully for you and I, some intrepid journalists snuck into the legal proceedings and made a recording. Following is the transcript from the original court battle.

Plaintiff: Your honor, that them doctor over there is refusing to give my gramps the dewormer medication for his Covid.

Judge: Is this true (gestures to defendant)?

Defendant: Yes, your honor. That treatment has not been vetted by experts and we decided after consulting with our experts that another treatment…(interrupted by plaintiff).

Plaintiff: Your honor, my cousin Rufus works at the “Stop N Shop” over there in Cleveland. He sent me a video on the YouTubes how that “I” stuff cures the Covids. The video proves it and everything.

Judge: Do you have this video handy?

Plaintiff: Let me look on my Facebook……yup, I got it.

Defendant: You cannot be serious.

Judge: (after watching video) As serious as a heart attack. I’m convinced. Give him the dewormer.

Defendant: And you got your medical degree from (trails off)? 


We protect the identity of our sources, so they will remain anonymous for now. Of course, some might question the exact verbiage above and that’s fine, but the judge did order the hospital to give him the medication he requested. Of course, given that the state doesn’t want to allow women and doctors to make decisions for their own health, I guess the jurisprudence works out. Still, I think someone should check the judge for brain activity. Whoever that is, it better not be a doctor. Apparently they aren’t qualified to make medical decisions now.

As you probably figured out, the above transcript is my obvious and haphazard attempt at humor. I don’t want to make light of someone else’s tragedy. I really don’t. The problem is that when people shun medical advice they kind of get what they get.

Of course, on some level we all do this. We might eat a little too much red meat and drink a little too much alcohol. In the past, I have had the occasional cigar. Occasionally, I might eat something or drink something with sugar in it. I know I’m not alone. We know we aren’t supposed to do it. We know our doctors would recommend we not do it. What we also know is that those occasional cheats are what make life worth living.

There is a difference between failing to follow all of the doctor’s instructions and this. All that being said, we’ve seen the seeds of this before. We’ve probably all had family members that doctor shop. They go to a doctor and don’t like what they hear. So, they keep trying new ones and until one tells them something they want to hear. Maybe they don’t want to hear that they need to lose weight. Maybe they don’t want to hear that they need to change their diet. Maybe they don’t want to hear that they need more exercise. The bigger problem comes when the doctor doesn’t want to give them pain medication for their obvious pain.

We’ve all been there. That somehow turned into the pharmaceutical companies advertising directly to the consumer. “Tell your doctor that you want to take Drug A today. If you are allergic to Drug A then don’t take Drug A. Drug A can cause seizures, full body hair loss, vertigo, seeing of the dead, and in some rare cases, death. If you involuntarily slap your spouse contact your doctor immediately.”

I have a great idea. I’m going to go to my doctor and describe how I am feeling. Then he or she will diagnose me. From there, they will decide if I need medication and if I do what kind of medication I need. See, my doctor actually has my medical chart. They know my preexisting conditions and whether I have any drug allergies. They also know the drugs I’m already taking and how any drugs might interact with the ones I’m already taking. So, whether my cousin Earle or Rufus or Jethro “had the same thing” is immaterial. Even if he did, we know the same thing doesn’t impact two different people the same way. We also know that drugs don’t impact people the same way. So, let’s let doctors be doctors and let everyone else kindly shut the bleep up.

Author: sbarzilla

I have written three books about baseball including The Hall of Fame Index. I also write for thefantatasyfix.com. You can follow me on twitter @sbarzilla.

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